My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
That accounts for only three of the penises
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
