He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
