it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
