Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
