I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
