I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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