Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize