She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
