honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
