it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Everyone says I win the strip club
I got inside last night via doggy door
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
