That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
