I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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