my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
