I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
