I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
