So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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