"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
