FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
