I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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