you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
