So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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