Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
