ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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