We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
