He is such a slut. More and more my type.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think your dad took our porno
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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