no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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