Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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