Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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