Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
