Yo dont text me then not text me
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
