I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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