If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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