I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i now understand why vodka
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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