Can Purell be used as lube?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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