All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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