you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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