The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
