I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
