I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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