I am in a vortex of obligation.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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