If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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