just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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