u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
