Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just had sex on a roof
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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