from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
