I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
