I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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