I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
