so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize