the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
