Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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