Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
