a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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