Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just invented taco cereal.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Randomize
