I think I died a long time ago.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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