If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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