i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
