At least make sure they are 18
Why
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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