So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
