Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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