If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
