talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
