oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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