Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
