Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
