The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
