i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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