i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
