And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well I just put wine in my tea
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
