forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize