I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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