Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
