she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You were trust falling into bushes
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
