so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
