If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
