so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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